Change and Seasons and Stuff!
The Last Full Moon Of The Summer Over Bondi Beach
It’s March 1st here in Sydney, Australia, which signifies the first day of Autumn (fall). A new season is upon us and I feel this change being reflected in so many areas of my life.
Throughout my life, change is something I’ve always craved but was terrified off, mostly because of how it would affect the other people in my life. These days I embrace and welcome change without over thinking it too much. I still struggle with the super highway of thoughts initially…”What if it doesn’t work out, what if I’m being too ambitious, what if it doesn’t go according to plan…blah blah blah”….. learning to be kind to myself is a constant process and at times feels like a battle I might loose, but I finally feel like I’ve cleared just a little room in my head for nurturing thinking. I sometimes catch myself smiling when I hear a loving thought naturally respond to an arse kicking one. A number of times now I’ve caught myself saying “We don’t do that anymore” in response to situations where someones actions confuse me because of how destructive they’re being. “We don’t do that anymore” means that “we” (being the 600 version of me that came before me to accumulate to the now “me”) try not to own other peoples bullshit. I’d like to say that not owning other people’s bullshit was a skill I’ve mastered…but then that would be me telling you a tonne of my own bullshit!
Do we ever get to a place where our head doesn’t control us? Were the constant mind fuck from our past conditioning doesn’t plague us? I used to believe that the absolute answer to that question was without a doubt “no”. And while I still can’t tell you that I know without a doubt that the answer is “yes”, I can tell you that my openness to change has shown me that if the choices I make to instigate change are based in love rather than fear…I might just get there. The new season always reminds me that the next season is inevitable…how I am reflected in that inevitability is my choice!
Peace Love and Peanut Butter
Miss Lee xxx
